The big day!!!

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!!! We go up to Murray to meet with the cardiovascular surgeon. He will go a bubble ECHO on me to see how big the hole in my heart is. I got really bad news today. They called to move my appt from 4:15pm to 2:15pm, while I had her on the phone, I just wanted to double check that I have closure scheduled for Thursday. Well, I'm glad I checked!!! The nurse (Heather) that talked to me last month, but in her notes that I was unwilling to quit breastfeeding my baby to have the procedure and so I was postponing it until I was done nursing her.

THAT IS NOT THE TRUTH!!!!

When I was done on the phone with her, I was ready to stop nursing for the 3 months I would be on Plavix. There are so many things that point to the fact that Heather made a bad mistake (choice). If we wait longer, it will bump into next years medical benefits.... no thanks!!! We have really expensive insurance.There is a lot of reasons and I wont go over them here.

So, now what? I still have my appointment for tomorrow, but the earliest closure available is August 18th. If we wanted to cancel tomorrow, we could do Aug. 17 and 18th. It's a hard choice. My symptoms have stepped it up quite a bit. I started blacking out last Monday. The next step is having a stroke. My hole is a "large shunt PFO", not a pin hole.

So tomorrow the surgeon could make the call that my PFO is large enough that I need surgery right away, or he could say that I will be fine until the 18th when they have an opening. Either way, I am praying for a miracle. A miracle that he can get me in or a miracle that Heavenly Father will take away the pain and threat of a stroke until we can go back up for the repair. This is NOT what I wanted to deal with this week :(

This has been really wearing on me BAD. On Friday, Randy was at scout camp and I pretty much had a mental break down. It was a low that I haven't felt in many, many years. I am so done for this to be over. I'm scared and anxious. I've waited long enough.

Anyhow, that's the latest!!! I will try to keep the blog updated. Thank you for the continued love and support. We really need it tomorrow. I love you all!!!