I just got done doing a 4am feeding with the baby. It's such a sad time for us. He will go to live with his parents on Thursday, so today, I realize that there are only 5 more 4am feedings left for him and I. When he got done eating, diaper changed and wrapped up like a burrito, we were rocking. He didn't want his binkie, so we just rocked. He was staring at me and I wondered if he knew. Does he know how much I love him? Have I been a good enough mom for the last 3 1/2 months for him? Have I treated him as my own? That's when I looked into his sleepy eyes and he turned the corners of his mouth up into a smile, then gently closed his eyes and was asleep. In THAT moment I knew. I know he knows how much I love him. I know I have done everything I could for him with no regrets and yes, I have loved him as my own son. I will miss him so much I can't even put it into words. He has blessed my life like I never knew was possible. I will miss him more than anyone knows. I love you sweet baby!!!