Don't tell Randy......

*OLD PICTURE ALERT*

Look at those curls!!!

Wanna know a secret? My husband is hairy, really hairy, but when I shave his head, I shave down his neck and onto his back to make him think he's more hairy than he really is!!! HAHA!!! Don't tell him, ok? Thanks for keeping this between US ;)

A BIG surprise!!!

See this girl......



She is my niece, Amy. She and I have always been really close. I am only 3 years older than her, so really, she was kind of like a little sister to me when we were growing up. This last few years, I have learned to really appreciate Amy for the person she is. She has made so many good choices in her life. I look up to her so much.

In the last year or so we have been able to grow closer than ever. I guess bad times will pull the closest ones together and that's what it's done for us. She lives in Vegas and we try to see them when we go down, but her and Dan have no problem coming up if there is stuff going on. They are so supportive.

Well, today was my birthday lunch with my mom, sisters and nieces and I was really missing Amy. Sometimes it's harder than others to not have her here. There are a lot of things going on in my brain right now and Amy totally gets it. I don't have to explain the things that are troubling me to her, she just knows.

This morning, I told her on Facebook that understood WHY she couldn't be here for lunch but that I wish she could and I miss her a lot. Knowing that she has a 3 year old son and a 1 year old son at home that she's trying to keep up with, lunch was the last of her priorities.

We were at Pasta Factory. It was my mom, my sisters, Launa and Blanche, one of my besties, Gina and my niece, Brittney with their kids. When Blanche got there she mentioned that we needed more room and then made a fat joke. Didn't think anything of it. About 10 minutes later, I looked over and saw Amy's sons, Bridger and Noah walk in the restaurant!!!!! I was so happy to see Amy, I cried like a little baby!!!! She was such a beautiful surprise!!! I think I cried for about 5 minutes straight!!!!

Amy told me that after reading that comment to her this morning that she just knew she needed to come up. I was so happy. It was the best birthday lunch EVER!!!! She is one of my favorite people in the world!!!! We had fun chatting it up at lunch, we always do!!!!

After lunch, we went back to my mom and dad's house and let the kids play while we sat and enjoyed each others company!!!! I can't tell you how happy it made me that she came up. She is such a sweetheart and I feel lucky to have her in my life!!! She's always been a great supporter of my family and she just brings a breath of fresh air whenever she's around!!!!

Anyhow, it's just amazing to me that I had nieces that were in St. George that didn't come to my lunch, but Amy came from 120 miles away!!! It's obvious that our relationship is different than the others!!!! We were all so happy to have Amy here and everyone that went to lunch had a blast!!! It was a good day!!!!

Thank you, Amy. I love you to pieces!!!!

Time Change Anyone???

The time change hasn't effected our family too much... hahaha!!!!!







Hopefully it hasn't been a bad one for you, either!!!

What birthdays mean to me....

***WARNING***
This blog post is typed with raw emotions at the risk of sounding totally and utterly selfish on my part and making some people mad. If you do not wish to have your feelings challenged, stop reading here.
***Consider yourself warned***

Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. Birthdays are such a weird thing for me. When I was younger, I would go over the top with excitement to overpower some of my feelings that I didn't understand and still don't.

When most kids are born, it's a joyful occasion that is looked at as a highlight of their lives, mine is a little different for me. My birth story as told by my mom.... my mom wouldn't take my biological mom to the hospital the night before I was born because Gone With the Wind was airing for the first time on TV, my baby blanket wasn't done yet and ultimately, my mom knew my biological mom wasn't really in good labor yet and she could wait!!! Well, they waited till the movie was over and everything went just fine. More proof that my mom always have been and always will be very intuitive. She always knows what is best.

What's the big deal? I wish THAT part wasn't a part of ME. Honestly, I wish I could just pretend I came from my parents and none of THOSE parts were there. I am not trying to minimize how blessed I am to have been raised the way I was. I was always loved... A LOT. I was a very confident person and still am, but for some reason, thinking that I was a disappointment to someone before I was even born is a little confusing.

I am probably speaking through pregnancy hormones, but my feelings always get stronger around my birthday, the birth of my own children and other significant events in my life.

I look at these pictures and think of how different my life is than other kids. Sure, I have sisters that love me like CRAZY, I have parents that have sacrificed so much for me, I have the most amazing extended family a girl could ask for and a husband that does the best with the mess he married into, but unless you are adopted, I don't think there is any way to understand how I am feeling. Hell, I don't even understand it. I just know that there are certain phone calls I will avoid tomorrow and there are certain people that it's easier to cling to on my birthdays because they know my heart and know how confusing it is for me to "celebrate" another birthday. I feel selfish for even saying that because of what I DO have, but it's deep down, WAY down that things get weird for me.

I usually don't talk about my feelings, but for some reason I can't help it tonight. It's weird. Look how much my mom and dad love me. You can FEEL the love coming out of them. Why couldn't THEY be the ones I was born to? Even though I am surrounded by people who love me so much, it's the ones that couldn't/wouldn't that make a difference. Was it THAT bad? Was it THAT hard? I know I was supposed to be in the family I am, but those weird feelings are still there. Like I was a problem, a "situation".
The older I get, for some reason, the harder this is. I feel this sense of loneliness and sadness that is hard to explain. It's like the more I love who I am, the more I doubt myself. That makes NO sense at all.

Uhgggg..... I have been crying for hours and I thought this would help, but those stupid tears just keep rolling off my face!?!

I love that Randy doesn't try to "fix" me. He just listens. He listens a lot. He hears things I would never tell another soul and you know what, he still loves me. He is a good man, in fact, such a good man that he just baked some chocolate cookies to make me feel better. I think it might work.

Sorry for the rant, I don't know why it happened, but maybe one day I will. Until then, you're stuck with me the way I am. Thanks for listening.

Halfway mark!!!

Yesterday, we made the halfway mark with our pregnancy!!! And if you want to get technical, I will have a c-section at or before 39 weeks, so I am actually PAST my halfway mark!!!

It's been a pretty long 20 weeks of pregnancy. LOTS of throwing up and even more nausea. I have never been sick with any pregnancy and then this one threatens to kill me!?! But things are getting better everyday!!! We're down to about 1 puky day per week instead of every, single day. That's a good thing!!!

I've been to Disneyland twice since we got pregnant. 7 weeks and then 17 weeks. We're going in December and then again in January!!! If I could talk the Clyde's into leaving me home and going one more time before our passes expire, I would, but they are a nervous bunch for some reason!!!

The baby is changing. This is a cool site that tells where we are right now. This little button has been playing around like crazy!!! It's so active. WAY more active than any of the others!!!

After our ultra sound, at my appointment with our doctor (whom I LOVE), he said the ultra sound looked perfect and my "old lady" blood work (the quad screen for the 4 major birth defects) came back perfect also!!! So, the health of the baby looks really good at this point.

The baby is getting higher and higher everyday. Just yesterday, it started kicking my waist on my pants!!! Randy can ALMOST feel it move. When I hold his hand on my belly where the baby is kicking, I can feel it from the inside, but it's not quite strong enough to let Randy feel. Soon, very soon. A few nights ago, I was pushed back in the recliner and the baby was going nuts, I held really still and could see when the baby was moving big. My belly was moving!!!! It was pretty cool.

I'm such a sap for this fun stuff!!!! The website says that the baby can hear now and I'm glad, because Cambelle tells this little baby EVERYDAY that she loves it and seals it with a kiss!!!

I'm getting so excited!!! I'm not nervous, which is weird. We don't have any names going yet. I heard the name Harper for a girl and kinda liked the ring of it, but that's where it's stopped!!!

I'm trying to keep my wacky hormones under control. I tend to get mean when I'm hormonal, but I'm trying really hard to not make people hate me.

So, there's the baby update!!! We are all excited and looking forward to the next half of pregnancy!!! I'm not one that gets to the end and begs, "GET IT OUT OF ME", I try to just relax and enjoy every part of it. I hope that's how it is this time too!!!!

Anyhow, time to go rest (I do that a lot!!!). Have a good night!!!

Halloween "fun"?

This year's Halloween was kinda stinky because Maddison got strep and then shared it with Cambelle, but we did our best to make it fun anyway!!!


The fun began on our school's "Math Night". The kids got to wear their costumes and had a lot of fun!!! Randy, Gina and I went to Thriller that night, so my mom and dad finished the fun with the kids and took them home. THANKS MOM AND DAD!!!! Thriller was awesome this year and the zombies weren't as aggressive as in the past, so I didn't go in cardiac arrest!!!


Then, the next day, Randy's mom came over to Tyler and Cambelle's classes to do her SCARY Witch's Brew!!! The Kindergarteners LOVE/HATE it!!!! It's so funny!!! Peggy is so creative and quite a good actress, if you ask me!!!




The big day was Friday. Sadly, Miss Maddison woke up sick. She had JUST enough energy to sit with me at the school costume parade.



Tyler's awesome costume, a woopie cushion!!!! Except he wasn't too fond of the 5th graders "squishing" him!!! If you know my son, you know this costume was PERFECT for him!!!!

And look at this little witchy poo!!!! Randy's mom made this costume 100 years ago for his little sister!!! It was fun for Cambelle to wear Aunt Jamie's costume!!!
Maddison thought this dress was the most amazing vampire costume EVER!!!!

Friday was our ward's Trunk or Treat. Maddison and I stayed home and Randy took the other kids. They had a BLAST!!!! Somehow Randy got roped into being the target for the sponge throw, so he spent the night having wet sponges thrown at his head!?! He's such a good sport!!! He was SOAKED when he got home!!!!

Then we're on to Sunday!!! Can I just say that I have the coolest mother-in-law around? She does a great job at making holidays fun for the kids (and the big kids too)!!! This year, she prepare a "Halloween Feast" for dinner!!!! She had the grandkids thinking they were going to eat this scary food!!!! (notice the font on the menu.... bloody!!!!)

Eye of Newt- deviled eggs with an olive slice in the middle to look like and eye ball

Rabbit Fodder- salad

Tuber Mash with Drippings- mashed potatoes and gravy

Squashed Dough Balls- biscuits

Speckled Wild Boar- ham

Bloodied Witch Fingers- sugar cookies shaped like fingers with blood oozing from the almond fingernails

Fresh Candied Hairy Beetles- noodles hand dipped in chocolate with eyes and legs

Slimy Pumpkin Eyes- candy corn shaped sugar cookies (the recipe is here)




It was a VERY fun night!!!! Thanks to Peggy for making it so special!!!

So, this Halloween wasn't a total waste, but hopefully next year no one will be sick!!!! I hope yours was a fun one too!!!