How do you handle stress? Well, for me, when the going gets tough... I cut my hair!!! It's not the first time I've done it. The second time Tyler was in intensive care, I went for a little choppy chop. So, last Friday, Randy wasn't surprised when I came home with shorter hair!!! (Thanks Angie for being my therapist)
So Thursday was a pretty hard day for me. Not too bad for holding it (some what) together for a week, right? Thursday afternoon it all just hit me and I kinda lost it. My best friend, Anna called to check on us and what she got was not what she expected, I'm sure. She rushed right over and played "mom" for a while. I didn't know what to do?
Do I:
*fix lunch for the kids
*get Randy food
*get Randy his pills
*help Randy to the bathroom
*clean the house
*act like a mom
*act like a wife
*pretend there is still a Hope that is alive
or
*run away to Mexico and never come back
It was a coin toss. I just stood there, almost comatose-like and let Anna take over. I needed to run to the pharmacy and to the grocery store, and then I got McDonald's for me while I was gone. I came back to her deep cleaning my bathrooms. I just sat in the hall, watching her, eating my fries and Coke. I didn't even get a Coke for her!!! I was just OUT OF IT!!! Anyhow, it all got better once the sting of the cleaning chemicals stopped burning my nostrils. I am so thankful for a best friend that will just DO. I don't need to ask, she knows what needs to be done and she just DID. Ohhhh what a blessing she is to my family.
So, after that was all over, I perked up and felt much better. Randy's getting around a lot better now. He's still using the walker, but getting in and out of the recliner is getting easier, showering is easier and when I dress him, he can actually bend his knees back almost to the square. That helps with dressing him. I was THIS close to calling it "naked time at the Clyde's" because it was so hard to get his pants on, good thing he's getting better!!!
The weekend came, we had lots of visitors (which keeps his spirits up, so keep on coming), and Randy was getting cabin fever, so he decided it was time to go to Wal-mart (mainly because we know they have those zippy little carts). He was able to get into the car a lot easier then coming home from the hospital. He zipped all over Wal-mart and surprised a few friends that saw us there!!! By the time we got home (and it was a short WM trip), he was DONE!!!! He rested for a while before we went to the church for a "dry run". He was wanting to go to church, but I didn't want to get him up and ready, over to the church and then have him not able to get into the building. So, on we went. We took our neighbor with for help if something happened. The options at our building are a steep ramp or walk the whole length of the building. He knew he couldn't walk that far, so he did the ramp. We got in and he even was able to get up the 2 steps to the stand. He takes his responsibilities of being a bishopric member seriously, so sitting in the congregation was NOT going to happen. He was pretty happy to be able to get up there. When we left, the ramp kicked his trash and then he rested. It was quite a workout!!!!
Sunday came and we sent the kids to church with the Rindlisbacher's and we went for Sacrament meeting. Our sweet ward members were SOOOO happy to see Randy there. He was so happy to be there. Maybe it was the double dose of Lortab he got before we left, but I think it's just the love he has for his ward members!!! He got to set apart a counselor to the new YM presidency and I think he felt good fulfilling one of his responsibilities.
It's been a hard time being at home. Let's not sugar coat it.... IT SUCKS!!!! But, we're gonna survive probably. Until then, we just need to keep to it!!! Thanks for all your love and support. I promise that everything anyone has done has been guided by our Heavenly Father because we have needed it. Thank you!!!
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8 comments:
Oh Hope,
I am so sorry, it is tough being the one hurt, but I think the caregiver has the hardest job.
Hey, the walker looks like mine.
It will get better.
that was such an uplifting blog. I didn't know that he was in the bishopric. i was so inspired by your post. You guys are so great. what a super friend you have. that gal is a total gem! I'm so glad he is doing better and I'm glad you got some alone time... it always helps. :) Love you guys. clint even read this post and said, "man, that is so awesome!". So let Randy know. :)
Hopie - I have been thinking so much about you guys. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this! I'm sure it is SO MUCH work (just reading your latest posts wore me out!) but I can't imagine anyone better suited for the challenge. Hang in there! It will get better soon. You guys are in our prayers.
p.s. Your hair looks great!!!
Hey Hope! Hang in there...you have such a positive attitude and I have no doubt you will make it through this.
First, cute hair...Second, I think you need to decorate his walker with something. "This too shall pass" the scriptures say...not, "This too shall stay." You have a right to breakdown every once in a while, you've earned it.
Everyone needs a friend that just jumps in and helps without being told what you need! I'm glad you have one to help out. And it's good to hear that Randy is doing a little better- and that you had a break. We haven't forgotten you!
So when I get stressed, I cut my hair. Case in point, May 1994 shortly after Mattthew died- Pixie doo. Circa spring 2002- We had just moved, but had survived a hellish winter in a trailer that in Diamond Valley that only had had the heat go out on us all of the time. And my dog got eaten by another dog. Matt had started a new job. We were trying to continue on with our family. So I tell Matt that I'm considering cutting my hair short. He says (without thinking, I might add), "Malea, you are so much prettier with your hair long". So I go into the bathroom, put it into a ponytail, and go to town with the scissors. It was short. I come out, throw the ponytail at him, and wish him a long and happy life with my hair. Good times:)
ps, keep your passport handy just in case. I can get you a great deal on a flight.
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